Update - 5 Months, again.

Dear Kylee,

Today you are seemingly STILL five months old because your mother cannot count. You have had a very angry week, and are out for vengence if we do not give in to your demands. You resent me for taking items from your mouth that need not be in there.
I am happy to bribe you, but it comes with a cost. I am really interested to hear what you'd say about your living conditions or your housemates, I may call your bluff.

All week you've worn a look of frantic craze. Were you slipped something Mom should be aware of? Everything you see is like the first time anyone could have ever seen it. You look at it, then at me saying "Did you SEE that? Oh my god, we need one of those, Mama my heart is empty without one." Then you forget, much like your upright counterparts do as children.


You brought that above .... whatever it is other than wood, thing inside today. We all can see the door, you must have really put forth effort! You remain quite proud and possesive of your findings. We still often quarrel over some of them because they belonged to me before you "found" them. I got the photo, impressed as usual at your ability to navigate a large object through a small entrance and you got pissed.

Really Pissed. That is your MINE! Get the fuck away from my stuff! face. (click to enlarge the face - she really is pissed!) You saw me making a move and went ape. I danced a little hoping you'd stop looking. You didn't. I took it anyway, I'm not scared of you. So you fought me for it and we almost went another round of Battledome over the thing. You then chased me outside as I tried to find which part of the fence you got it from, fiercely defending what you felt was rightfully yours. I could have smacked you with it and ran, but instead I held it over my head taunting you. "Want this don't-cha?" I never did find where you got it from.

Here is your mom laughing at you. I wish my life was just about a wood plank.

And here is your mom forcibly turning you Chinese.

You are mad this week, but in the next you are going to have a reason. Your father is beside himself about it. I called about your spay for a general idea on cost and I was asked how much you weighed.

I asked if ovaries were charged by the pound. It really took me off guard and that's what fell out of my mouth.

"No no it's because of the anethesia and pain medication."
"Okay...how much for say..... two ovaries, one uterus, and couple of felopian tubes and stitches on a 32 pound dog - but she's been eating since the last weigh."
"Hold on."

/listens to the on hold music.

"About 250, but less the 15 percent discount for the puppy plan."

Which was something offered to us and Mr. Morgan pounced on, Puppy Plan? Spare no expense! Sigh.

I blinked for a while and wondered if dinner and a movie came with it. That's not cheap! Then I scowled at you later for having such expensive girly parts. You hopped. Not for long my little cricket.
Maybe next update you will have found your peace with the Dog Gods and not be so angry, you have nothing whatsoever to be bitchy about. When you behave this way I gaze at you with a "you are SO kidding." coutenance. Then tell you to get lost and grow up. Your mom doesn't make the connection between being a kid and LIVING to be one. You are very lucky sweetie, and it's exactly what we want for you, to never have a single worry in the world. Last night I dreamt we had 7 of you, and we couldn't control YOU let alone 6 others. Be appreciative, and nice.

Love,

Mama