Beavers.

Mr Morgan went out to weed whack this morning, it was greeted like a game. I've never seen anything hop so fervently, except perhaps a gazelle under chase. I had been outside in my pajamas, rolled up hoping for sunshine while this miracle happened. I told everyone to pause while I got the camera. No one stood still. She thought the weed wacker was a game. While I deeply care, I admit I sat watching with my lense in action should she lean too close after being told no 50 times.

Pool is clean! Green be gone! We blew up my floaty and dunked the dogs swiftly, as it was hot outside and much like with Leedy, we still think it's funny.

Kylee went frantic.

She could not find the OUT area and began to cry. We are rather conerned she might try to take a dip when we are working, but also doubt it since she has little insterest if we aren't in it.

Simon.... tolerating me as usual.

He gets very warm too with the coat he was born with, I have to think it's a blessing, even if he thinks it's punishment at the time., Thus the language barrier.

That dark splotch is Kylee diving as though she is a gator.

Then begging for the spot on my floatie. Click on any to enlarge, all of the Simon's looks like he's been left for dead. God love a wet little dog, they simply shrink.

All for this weekend.

-DM

Update - 5 Months, again.

Dear Kylee,

Today you are seemingly STILL five months old because your mother cannot count. You have had a very angry week, and are out for vengence if we do not give in to your demands. You resent me for taking items from your mouth that need not be in there.
I am happy to bribe you, but it comes with a cost. I am really interested to hear what you'd say about your living conditions or your housemates, I may call your bluff.

All week you've worn a look of frantic craze. Were you slipped something Mom should be aware of? Everything you see is like the first time anyone could have ever seen it. You look at it, then at me saying "Did you SEE that? Oh my god, we need one of those, Mama my heart is empty without one." Then you forget, much like your upright counterparts do as children.


You brought that above .... whatever it is other than wood, thing inside today. We all can see the door, you must have really put forth effort! You remain quite proud and possesive of your findings. We still often quarrel over some of them because they belonged to me before you "found" them. I got the photo, impressed as usual at your ability to navigate a large object through a small entrance and you got pissed.

Really Pissed. That is your MINE! Get the fuck away from my stuff! face. (click to enlarge the face - she really is pissed!) You saw me making a move and went ape. I danced a little hoping you'd stop looking. You didn't. I took it anyway, I'm not scared of you. So you fought me for it and we almost went another round of Battledome over the thing. You then chased me outside as I tried to find which part of the fence you got it from, fiercely defending what you felt was rightfully yours. I could have smacked you with it and ran, but instead I held it over my head taunting you. "Want this don't-cha?" I never did find where you got it from.

Here is your mom laughing at you. I wish my life was just about a wood plank.

And here is your mom forcibly turning you Chinese.

You are mad this week, but in the next you are going to have a reason. Your father is beside himself about it. I called about your spay for a general idea on cost and I was asked how much you weighed.

I asked if ovaries were charged by the pound. It really took me off guard and that's what fell out of my mouth.

"No no it's because of the anethesia and pain medication."
"Okay...how much for say..... two ovaries, one uterus, and couple of felopian tubes and stitches on a 32 pound dog - but she's been eating since the last weigh."
"Hold on."

/listens to the on hold music.

"About 250, but less the 15 percent discount for the puppy plan."

Which was something offered to us and Mr. Morgan pounced on, Puppy Plan? Spare no expense! Sigh.

I blinked for a while and wondered if dinner and a movie came with it. That's not cheap! Then I scowled at you later for having such expensive girly parts. You hopped. Not for long my little cricket.
Maybe next update you will have found your peace with the Dog Gods and not be so angry, you have nothing whatsoever to be bitchy about. When you behave this way I gaze at you with a "you are SO kidding." coutenance. Then tell you to get lost and grow up. Your mom doesn't make the connection between being a kid and LIVING to be one. You are very lucky sweetie, and it's exactly what we want for you, to never have a single worry in the world. Last night I dreamt we had 7 of you, and we couldn't control YOU let alone 6 others. Be appreciative, and nice.

Love,

Mama

Punishment Served

I gave you a heads up months ago, you won't stop. Nor will I.

You Steal It, You Wear It. You thought I was kidding the first couple of times.

I wasn't.


I have many a bite wound from you resisting this policy, and each was worth it. I think the size and bust line suits you, so don't mope because you were caught.

But mope you do. Quit snatching stuff that isn't yours, I'm WAY too ready to dress you as it is. You are tempting and walking a very fine line my friend. We battle as you grow larger, I'll always win. Don't underestimate your mom to not pile drive you into a costume, or whatever loot you've taken. Other dogs have it worse so don't give me that pity look. You stole!

Sneaky theif. She can't help but want nice stuff.

- DM

Update Month 5. or so.

Dear Kylee,

Today you are ... too old to count! And too big to be making your Mom pick up piles of poo because you sometimes are afraid of the dark. It's really ok, I am too sometimes and have done that hop-jump into bed because something was on me.

You are extremely curious about my record player (pictured behind her below) and you adore to sit with me even if I play the same song over and over. You question why it is doing what it's doing, and your little head goes in circles. You might or might not grow into your ears.

You stare at me almost non-stop and I try to shoo you to your Father, you do give us both attention but I find you at my feet damn near non stop. Licking. Staring. Waiting to be told what to do when all we really ask is that you eat, drink and shit outSIDE!!!!! We thought you were cool with the simple rules of Casa de Morgan.

Since your big sister moved out I've simply referred to you as "ok." You know I'd never hurt nor starve you, it just wasn't there and people swore I was just all talk. It wasn't. Honestly, I didn't know you. You frankly looked a runt and dissapointing.

I looked at you this weekend and finally gazed you right in the eyes and said "I love you." and meant it. You can't blame me for being reluctant, you just aren't Leedy and in fairness why should anyone ask you to be? Some things are never let go of, and I make no remorse, but alas.... you little heart weasel........ I'm mad for you.

Love,

Mama.

We like to Partay!

As my annual gag of just being a smart ass, when I talk to people who plan to attend my convention and I make shit up. This year was that I liked balloons. Last year I said I was all about chocolate and the shit rolled in. I did not expect balloons, even when told earlier last week "you are being taken care of." Jesus. For what? Godfather.... may I approach thee?

The balloons came. I need to paste this onto my main blog as I try not to cuss here, and trust me... with this... I want to and HAVE on main blog so might jus go there for full effect. I really thought they were kidding about the balloons as much as I was. Nope. Because of the run (below) I made her wear it. Remember..... steal it you wear it, well.... run from me... wear it. New rule.

So I get home with my usual spray of one purse, one bag of ... whatever, and all these (insert the word you KNOW I mean) balloons waving in the wind like laughter. I open the front door and it's like someone hit (another word, same one) the trigger on the gun because both of the dog went screaming into the road. All while I'm still attached to these (WORD!!!!) balloons that I no longer even like. Thank god for my neighbor. Except.... she asked if she could help with the balloons. /pause. Balloon coveter, I get it, but scremed that it was better if she could catch one of the two dogs who were bolting like a (word) prison break. The Russian was the worst, he chilled under a car as I am in chase ------ with ALL those damned balloons and purses in tow, a car that was RUNNING, ready to go. I flailed and about threw myself on the hood of the car screaming at his little ass. Not ok Simon.

The neighbor caught the Muslim, and I caught the Russian. Was he sorry? Oh let's talk about HOW sorry. My neighbors god love them, laughed at me running with balloons, bags in tow screaming names, my arms out to grapple an animal an kill it, spilling my entire purse all over the (not more) fucking!!! sidewalk. Did I mention I wore a dress today and can't walk even without anything to weigh me down? It was a scene. Again, bless my neighbors, they've seen us dive naked from our little pool plenty I'm sure. We stand at the fence though, listening first because trhey do often have grandkids, and we are somewhat thinky about that sort of thing. I don't want to scar a kid.

For most, I't's a duplicate for main blog..... Video though, thats new!

-DM

Morgan vs. Morgan

Okay. So....... let's think here....... you "maybe" or "maybe didn't" eat the living fuck out of my loveseat while we were at work earning the money to feed you and your brother. Fair enough. Taking a stretch here but.....I kinda think that you DID, and had yourself a good time doing it. You instantly lied to me and swore the foam dangle from your lips had been planted. You had been framed, you said. I swear you even looked towards the giraffes. No one likes a liar Kylee, and a bad one is even worse.

I asked the Russian and he wanted nothing to do with it. He's alone with you too often and feared for his safety but he did pass a wink on the sly. I returned a nod to him that you didn't see, we all know what you've done and you have a lot to learn in this house. While your brother is not a direct snitch... he is extremely fond of food and warm bedding. Your trust is so blind and I l smile at it, I'm not going to let on that he is KGB and knows where his stomach loyalty lies. You don't know..... I, however, do.

You finally gave up and screamed "YES I ate the loveseat and it .... was.... GOOD!" in a definant snatching of the foam I was earnestly trying to pick up lest your Father come home and feel the same "God Dammit! Get the beating stick" that I do.

"Why did you lie to me?"

You then gave me a look of complete sympathy as though I was the stupid one in this situation.

"Mama, you wanted to hear I didn't do it." then you went outside, and pissed in the pool.

I'm not sure what happened. I was inside cleaning up and went outside, caught you pissing - which isn't that bad. In my work clothes and all I dove in that 3 inches of water pool and we had us a tangle.

Eat the little furniture I own and we WILL battledome in 3 inches of water, don't care what I have on or if I rolled in piss water, you went DOWN little one. You did get in some good nibbles and quite few nice slides. I dove into that pool and you knew it was coming and darted. Wasted my time.

Fairly laughable that a grown woman went outside to go one round with you, mud-wrestle style until someone gave up. You ate my loveseat! I HAD to challenge you. We rolled, there were grunts, kicking, much splashing.... Russian kept score. We went at this for ten minutes in nasty water, neither of us giving up. (When I say we rolled.... I'm not remotely kidding lol.... I pounced the giant puppy as thought I was on a spring landing into nothing water and tackling her, and she said GAME ON!) It was a bitch fight. We went in circles like two wild gerbils who had lost it over the walking wheel, both dripping and looking like morons. I'm not sure my work outfit is salvagable. Was worth it (as I pick algae out of my hair).

Mom won. Then had to towel her off. Hm. We both still look pretty pathetic, dripping all over and laughing at eachother.

(Click to enlarge mopey loser of the match!)

-DM

Hello Ms. Lee.

Look at you! I told you that it was convention time at work and you remembered there are giveaways and grabbed a bag. Again with those ever-so-hopeful-gimme eyes. They scream "Don't I deserve stuff too???" No. Can't pull the cute card on me every day my darling. You had a nice bacon breakfast.

The Morgans! I was waving from behind.


Mentioned previously about her WTF face. This is it. "What dat, and how can I get it? The better to chew you with?"

And lastly.......

Assalamu alaikum. She never told us she was planning to convert, but that's ok. May peace with with you too Kylee. Now I have a chocolate Muslim (very much a coincidence), a Russian who's faith I do not know because I do not speak his tongue, a husband who frowns at the whole idea.... and me. What am I. Indeed. I think I'll just be the one who watches it all and glances at my accolades.

-DM

Growing up isn't easy

Kylee came home from her walk today, took a drink of water and shocked both Morgans at how swiftly the water looked like a boiled egg was waiting to be dyed in. We both admit to shitting ourselves in pure Three Stooges whoop whoop. I went scrambling for my pants thinking we were doomed to repeat the past and rush a dog somewhere for …. whatever it is dogs do to scare their parents.

She literally was dripping blood from her mouth. Not enough that I thought she would bleed out, but to say you saw giant globs of blood all over and did nothing, would revoke my PETA contract. Right? She was dripping pretty damn well. To the point I could smell it quite strongly, which is a very distinct smell. We all know the taste yes, but knowing the smell of a good amount of blood doesn’t remotely compare. No girls, your period does not count. Very different. I think it smells like iron, but I can’t say if I smelled iron I would think it was blood. It’s just…. Can’t miss it once ya know it.

So she’s bleeding and Mr. Morgan has begun to REALLY freak out.

“What did she get into?”
“Rocks.”
“Okay.” knowing that she simply cannot NOT eat rocks. She's a rockeater, like the Neverending Story.

He worries about the blood water bowl as though it’s not a cover for being concerned. The beast’s tail was a-wag, she was plentiful in energy. I grabbed the mouth of my youngest and we had the very first “Mother Knows Best” discussion. Meaning – open your mouth….. we need to take a peek. We almost had this discussion before, but it was simple and entailed me swabbing her mouth for contraband. You’d be surprised how fast I can check a mouth for things that should not be in it (I don’t even have to look at the subject, it’s a movement that is swirlish and probably taught to prison guards) and take the item, commenting on if I thought it was worth the trouble of trying to bite me for it. This is true also when I cared for humans, I've been bitten by dentures and real teeth and each had a few that wouldn't let go, although with dentures they will eventually pull free and you can prance " HA GOT YOUR TEETH!" People like junk in their mouths. I smoke… so … I’m not one to say it’s wrong.

I snagged the bleeder, swabbed a mouth, no items. I looked up at Mr. Morgan and said:

“She lost a tooth.” As I had suspected.
“No way, it wouldn’t have bled like that.”

I looked at him calmly, pissed that he was NO help herding the 30 pound animal who did NOT want her mouth examined, and told him what I saw. This was not easy, and it stank of… like I said… blood. There is an inch and a half side of her mouth where no teeth are. The other side of her mouth has those teeth, so…. logic reigns. I’m now on her “I hate you list.”

She later began to gag and barf, I won’t even try to say I wasn’t looking and hoping that she barfed up a tooth. No luck.

She’s not dead and Mister has had enough of a scare for today, even if it was just a tooth. He is still very fragile about any dog issue and worries like crazy that something will happen again to us, too soon.

-DM

Update Month Five

Dear Kylee,

Today you are five months and 8 days old. We celebrated by sharing peanut butter sandwiches, nodding and exchanging eye contact that gave us a moment of bonding that clearly said “You like peanut butter and bread, and I like peanut butter and bread.” Kindred moment. I cut you off after two slices, folded in half and you sat for 15 minutes flashing your tongue out like a lizard, but not because you had some of it stuck in your mouth, but rather to display you wouldn’t mind another bite. One last bite? It’s sorta my birthin’ day Mama, just another tiny taste? As you wrap yourself around my legs and gaze up with the hopeful eyes you were born with. Your two most often expressions are happy or hopeful. We sometimes catch you looking surprised, curious and downright in agreement that what you are looking at makes no sense. Your mother has a potty mouth and refers to those things as “what the fuck?” You are a lady though, and would never say such, you say it more with a pause of contemplation followed with “huh?”

You also want to draw.

You torture this one too much. So much that he not only retaliated against one of your pounces, but gave a crazed chase that had you running like a scared rabbit. You deserved it, he had been in a dead sleep and you thought it would be funny to full charge jump on him.

Every day I wake up and say good morning to your brother, your big sister, and you. Your tail begins a wild thump of anticipation when I get within 4 feet of you, and it gives my mornings a warmth I never thought I’d feel again, you are so grateful to be approached. You want your family so desperately that you often overwhelm us. Your big sister is much more independent, you are wherever we are and have the most interesting sideways jump to express your glee when we notice you, as though you were chosen from the crowd in Price is Right. ME???? Oh my god oh my god!


You still have puppy grunts and piglet snorts. We imagine this is your way of wondering why it’s getting so much harder to get up and move about. Case in point, you fell off the bed yesterday with a thundering slam and the shock on your face was the most honest and innocent look of not understanding what happened. You will eventually come to terms with your growth.

Thank you for finally being potty trained, you resisted, furniture had to be moved. I sometimes think your big sister enjoyed having a laugh of us cleaning after you for months, then finally whispered the secret to it all. She is entertained by those sorts of things and I shook a fist at her for it. We aren’t quite sure why you don’t want to be outside in the sunshine, perhaps you are still young and feel a need to be close to others.

Everyone thinks you are gorgeous, none so much as us. We are suckers, and as of this sentence you came in to show me a toy that I bought for you, but you don’t remember and think it’s the first time I’ve seen it, so I told you how cool it was and how I wanted it for myself. You beamed and said I maybe tomorrow I could borrow it.

Then you asked for more peanut butter and I gave it to you.

Love,

Mama