Dilenquent.

Thank you, I was hungry for massive battery.

Kylee has gone from stealing ciggarettes (smoker!) to being found caught with a bottle of Corona (drunk!) and today, ten minutes before I left for an interview stole a purse (theif!) enjoying it's contents, including a bottle of antibiotics I keep on hand for the ever so sneaky UTI (pill popper!) Anything else?

-DM

Update, Month 7

Dear Kylee,

You are a week or so shy of 7 months old. You are a very, VERY pretty girl. When your ears are up from interest you have a stunning profile, but it's when they flop down into happy submission that I feel my heart melting. It's a great photo but part of me laughs because I swear it's a mug shot. Busted! At this particular time though, you were not in trouble, rather you were hopeful for a snack.


Here is the much hunted creature - the Princess Leia Lab.

Your hobbies and interests haven't changed very much, you still think you are quite small, but, aren't.

The once itty bitty showers.....

Are no more.

After your first long hike with Marley, your father wanted to wash the brown off of you. This is not the same as when I scream I am going the slap the brown off of you. You took the water as a personal insult and all but melded yourself to the end of the shower wall. I was close to going to the kitchen for a spatula to pry you off of it.

This morning you spooned with your father for at least two hours, making me almost fall to the floor as there isn't quite enough room for four on our bed. When I protested, your father said your breath smelled better so you had won the match.

When Bosslady's Daughter came to visit this week you went out of control, performing your renowned crotch pounce, I struggled with you for a minute or so when she came over and I admitted defeat "You get this end!" and the two of us finally got your crazed behind out the door. You are very strong. Strong and clumsy has made me look like a battered housewife for months now, and should I ever make a fake claim against your dad, I'd have a case with the wounds you've given me. You also have your father's mentality, in that when I yelp from you getting too rough, you give me the most sarcastic look and I think I even once heard you call me a wimp. So what! All fun and games until Mom gets hurt, remember she is the one who can open the fridge Kylee.

Your father and I had a quarrel this last week and in the middle of it, you walked between us and pissed on the floor. You swiftly ended our argument with this rather clever manuever. Both of us looked at you, then each other and couldn't believe what you had done. You walked two feet away, sat proper and looked at us to see if the squabble would continue. Interesting move, and proof you are in fact listening because I dismiss a lot of things and complain by saying "well piss!" You are wise beyond your young little mind.

I love you and you are trying to stay a good girl.

Love,

Mama

For Simon, yes YOU

Kylee won't stop eating her brother. Not just that, she sees the limp and a cradling of a bad leg and goes for it. We don't know what to do about it.

We built Simon an elaborate system of stairs that he completely ignores and comtinues to throw his stupid self off the bed/couch will full force. He is managing very well as a tripod and actually gets some decent momentum, but it pains us to watch it all the same.

He is not a drumstick Kylee! STOP IT! Honestly, he is just old. All she did was brush against him and every since he won't use the leg. I'm aware she isn't a shy lean, I'm embarrassed to go on interviews with all my wounds, but damn Simon...... we didn't know he was so fragile.

Now is not the time to be begging a knee surgery. We think if he would just use the damned stairs he could good himself a rest. I've all but lined them with fur to entice him, still, nothing. Advice is welcomed. we have been separating them when Kyles goes into "frantic tumble" but it's really becoming a drag. Not because we are inconvenienced, although there are times of "YOUR TURN!", but because the moment they are separated they whine to be back together. It's non stop breaking up fights. While I love Kylee I get pissed at her when she is rough on him. He is not 6 months old like you asshole knock it the fuck off! She's replies "pfffffft"

Simon does not like Kylee like she does Leedy, but he acts like a big brother, always watching where she is and if he needs to shake his head and let her know that it's not acceptable. Sometimes I think he hopes she'll be beaten and will point me to the right direction "She's over there, beat her." (I'm learning Russian).

Both Mr. Morrgan and I have noticed a strong down fall in Simon since Delilah moved out. She took a good part of his spirit with her, it makes us very sad. Mostly me, as they were mine. All mine. It's a difficult thing, he's not very smart, but it's so palpable.... just kills me again and again like the day we let her move out. I hate reminders.

I have my eye on him like mad, but even as silly as he is, he definitely has his own agenda, as do I, to keep my wee man happy, fed, and safe in his home. We'd have taken him to vet, but they've told us what's wrong and they say it doesnt hurt him. I have to say I am seriously not ready to deal with another dog aging and the consequences of it. My heart just can't. But those are the obligations, he'll be fine and pop that knee back in if he'll just stop ... being him? See the problem? Who am I to tell him how to live even if I know what's best. I have cared for him to be who he is, as long as he relieves himself outside and is a good listener. Tricky. Good thoughts for The Pickle. I'd post a photo, but it's depressing, so have chosen not to. The man deserves dignity during his down time.

- DM