Kylee goes on video!

Dear Kylee,

Today you are three months and 14 days old. I sometimes wonder why we didn’t sell you for parts a while ago, as you have become a noisy terror. Then you go totally cute.

Yesterday you were so out of hand we showered you to see if that would curb the “Brown Bear” in you, as your Daddy calls you. You sat with a pout on your face for over an hour as though we’d poked you hot spatulas. Don’t give your parents much credit in the torture department, we suck and would give each other blank looks as we are not skilled at that. I could have gotten my newly purchased mace, but I don’t think you did anything THAT bad. It did shut you up for a while. We are not sorry we assaulted you with water and soapy goodness. We are also not sorry for laughing at your wet snout and “mad as hell” face. Yes, we pointed at you.

You are growing a lot! I was hoping to stunt this by slipping a leg under and letting you fall, I don’t know why I thought this would halt your growth but I did it. You are an accomplished tumbler and snap back up ready for more.

You poop in the house less, but I personally think it’s luck, not dedication to learning. Sorry. You don’t WANT to, and how I can blame you for not wanting to stumble into the morning cold to poop. It would retract in my bowels as well by the time I got out there.

Your father is deeply in love with you, He would thorw himself in front of a train for you. Be grateful. He talks about you more than me, it makes me wonder if I’ve slacked on make up! He swore he’d never love anything after your big sister, and compares you to her often. I begin to cry so leave the room. You don’t mind being compared but you also make it very clear who you are. I made you a little compilation of your little life.

I really like you, we just need to find a balance yet. I have not hit nor starved you but don’t think when I’m bleeding in the bathroom from one of your bites that I don’t consider both. You’ve seen me looking at you like Monday’s supper, I know you have. That squinty way of wondering how long you would take. Stuffed.

Alright baby girl, keep being good to daddy, you are his very heart and I appreciate how sweet you are in the morning, sleeping on my head completely like a hat. Or a mink. Or a hatish mink! Be nice to brother and thank big sister, just…. Because I asked you to.

Love,

Mama