Update 3 Month, 4 days

Dear Kylee,

You are 3 months and 4 days old.

You have learned quite a bit, but are overlooking some of the essentials, as I was brought from a dead sleep yesterday by a string of profanity from your father that was so impressive I would have applauded it, were it not at 8 in the morning. You must learn to poop outside. I took the Sunday shift and you had been very busy. We walked outside with all three warm piles and had a talk about the yard being the best way to not have Mama tearing out of the bed with Joan Crawford hair screaming about wire hangers because she was woken up.

You are growing. I think we can just measure your piles to see how much, but we are dedicated and are sticking to the wall.

Your dad found a fantastic bike run that no one knows about, as we only had one person pass us and let you off lead. You listened well and relished the freedom.

But you are lazy and enjoy your shade.

You found this on the final stretch home and I had to wrestle the nasty thing out of your craw as you screamed that you found it, and possession is 9/10ths of the law. I tried to convince you that eating dead frogs was kinda... ya know yuck.... you all but rolled your eyes at me and said FINE.

Once home, you collapse in front of the bowl and camp out there for a long time, in case it has any plans of escape.

Your doctor visit went very well. You still do not appreciate the thermometer. I can understand but I laugh. That is a mother's right Kylee. You make me insane day and night, yes, I enjoy the eye bulging from getting your temperture taken. Were I mean, I would ask for a re-check, but I haven't.

Your new word this week - you really are SMART SMART! is shake. You learned it in a couple hours. You are also left handed. Only left handed people really notice this on people or anything else with regularity, and you are. This pleases your mother deeply.

Your big brother needs some surgeries, and this breaks the hearts of your parents, so be nice to him ok. Just a little slack ok. We can't offer you a younger sibling, but we take you out often to meet others and you are quite the ham. No one passes without pausing to meet you. You think it's a given.

Love,

Mama

Hamburgler

Kylee had her teeth brushed. I'm fairly sure she thought we we out to gag her for punishment.

Could I look more bald? Anyway, we brushed! Took two of us and a block of concrete to hold her still.

Here she is making that classic face of someone who is contemplating a new thing. Do I like it? Mineral, vegetable, brushable?


Tomorrow for nail trimming. It actually is punishment as I left my room for about 2 seconds and she had leapt up and taken off with my burger lunch. I'd say she didn't know better, but by the speed of her stride.... she knew before I even screamed "THIEF!" pointing, hopping frantically in a snitch way, yelling for Mr. Morgan to come kill the greedy hamburger taking dog.

-DM

Kylee goes on video!

Dear Kylee,

Today you are three months and 14 days old. I sometimes wonder why we didn’t sell you for parts a while ago, as you have become a noisy terror. Then you go totally cute.

Yesterday you were so out of hand we showered you to see if that would curb the “Brown Bear” in you, as your Daddy calls you. You sat with a pout on your face for over an hour as though we’d poked you hot spatulas. Don’t give your parents much credit in the torture department, we suck and would give each other blank looks as we are not skilled at that. I could have gotten my newly purchased mace, but I don’t think you did anything THAT bad. It did shut you up for a while. We are not sorry we assaulted you with water and soapy goodness. We are also not sorry for laughing at your wet snout and “mad as hell” face. Yes, we pointed at you.

You are growing a lot! I was hoping to stunt this by slipping a leg under and letting you fall, I don’t know why I thought this would halt your growth but I did it. You are an accomplished tumbler and snap back up ready for more.

You poop in the house less, but I personally think it’s luck, not dedication to learning. Sorry. You don’t WANT to, and how I can blame you for not wanting to stumble into the morning cold to poop. It would retract in my bowels as well by the time I got out there.

Your father is deeply in love with you, He would thorw himself in front of a train for you. Be grateful. He talks about you more than me, it makes me wonder if I’ve slacked on make up! He swore he’d never love anything after your big sister, and compares you to her often. I begin to cry so leave the room. You don’t mind being compared but you also make it very clear who you are. I made you a little compilation of your little life.

I really like you, we just need to find a balance yet. I have not hit nor starved you but don’t think when I’m bleeding in the bathroom from one of your bites that I don’t consider both. You’ve seen me looking at you like Monday’s supper, I know you have. That squinty way of wondering how long you would take. Stuffed.

Alright baby girl, keep being good to daddy, you are his very heart and I appreciate how sweet you are in the morning, sleeping on my head completely like a hat. Or a mink. Or a hatish mink! Be nice to brother and thank big sister, just…. Because I asked you to.

Love,

Mama

New Word: Nice.

I find myself staring at the puppy to such length she finally looks at her ass and says “what!?” It had come to a reluctant realization that I’m insanely protective of her. She is not Leed, nor will, can, and even perhaps never wants to strive to be. She is her own little self. I realize that while being firm and loving, I’ve not given her a fair shake to fluff Kylee Feathers and let her be who she is and not just what I expect.

I’d never want anyone to compare me to anything, except rich, so I can understand her plight.

I am a tiring trainer, and she’s probably so sick of hearing of her name as I am to say it. Scream it? We work for the two hours before Dad comes home on obedience and tricks, hoping she will soon catch on and impress him. It would please him so much to see her learning stuff. Kylee will of course get all the credit lol.

Tonight all her gadgets, toys, extras and otherwise goodies have been taken because she will not come to her name and was eating feces. I am the dog nazi. She may have them back when she can listen, as she KNOWS her name. Especially when it’s food related, but she doesn’t get to pick and chose when she will come on command or not. We’ll work on that, but mostly when dad isn’t around because he will think I’m being too harsh and contradict all my efforts. I did after all have 3 dogs when I met him, wait no, Sierra had passed…. But from puppy…. They didn’t just arrive trained and nice and it certainly wasn’t my ex who did any work on it.

Kylee may make an appearance at work tomorrow, if so I’ll get all the snaps I can.

-DM

Belly Wednesday

Tell me those are not absolutely goegeous eyes.

Kylee learned a new game! It's called make the humans fetch YOU instead of reverse. She gets her lips on something and instantly knows it's worth by how fast the people chase her to get it back or to stop her from killing herself. In Kylee world... we are all out to get her. She will tuck a tail and get to fleeing, item securely in mouth, watching keenly over her shoulder mid run to see if we called off the hunt. She is more than ready to run a marathon to keep people from taking things from her and has the agility of a boxer to aviod an item being grabbed. I really wasn't kidding before when I said she LIKES HER STUFF.

Far too often in life our STUFF defines who we are, so how can I give her grief for doing what she sees everyone else doing. I will however BattleDome over MY STUFF, so sister needs to pick her stolen property wisely. She thanks Ount Moon for the clock toy.

Don't we all need a good evening scratch? Her puppy grunts have not stopped and by them it's evident she is enjoying a good belly rub or scratch. Yes she looks constipated, she's not.... god trust me she's SO not, she's mid itch.

-DM

Mom Laps are the best

I am really wiped out lately, and my intestines seem to be on indefinite strike, but this does not slow our girl down one bit. She wants to hop on it with her giant hooves and ever growing weight with pounces that if timed right could make a person have an accident in their pants from the unexpected pressure of it.

She tells me angrilly that my lap is shrinking, and that she has a bigger and better lap on lay-away since I'm no longer affording her lappish needs.

Both Morgan parents admit we will miss her being little. Mr. Morgan for her sleeping on his head at night and those darling morning puppy yawns that carry a tune, and me for the way she slips under my desk and blends into the cushion I have down there.... giving me just the glimpse of eyes staring up at me with hope of food or affection. She really has a gorgeous face, and her eyes snatch up the hearts of all who meet her. I think it's odd people say "She's going to be so pretty!" Do I currently have an ugly puppy???? She's fantastic right now!

Mr. Morgan had been concerned that she does not avert eye contact. I thouht about this and have been testing her a bit. Yes, when pissed - and we've all seen a pissed off puppy, nothing can be done. Otherwise she will look you dead in the eye more so as if waiting to be directed on what to do. It's not thinking she is the pack leader and I pointed this out to Mr. Morgan, her entire life thus far is being told to do this or more so DONT DO THAT! So I consider her gaze one of questioning rather than obstinance.

And we learned to SIT.

-DM

3 Month Update

Dear Kylee,

You are almost 3 months old.

We measured your brother on the side wall for comparison.
He has no concept of the fact that your growth does not intend to slow down. "She's going to get BIGGER????" (I'm learning Russian).

You have become quite the banker. I catch you with coins in your mouth often and you swear you were bringing them to me. You learned quickly how valuable money is and have set yourself up a little account in the closet.

Today when I came home from one of the worst string of painful days, you pranced down the hall to greet me with a dollar bill in your mouth. I would like to train you to fetch higher amounts, but it was a good score, and you didn't eat it - you simply came to me with it, showing that you had something worth getting. You were very proud and I can't say I wasn't proud too as I slipped it into my pocket for the Kylee Theodore fund.
You are not the easiest animal to snap on film, but you are very pretty and your teething has gotten much better. You've watched me crying for a few days, just a soft cry, but you have been very interested and lick me kindly as if to say "I know about tooth pain Mama." then you lay at my side as if we were stitched together.

(I'm sorry but it creeps me out.... in the background it looks like a woman in a white shirt crouched over)


It's very clear your brother loves you. He plays the role all the time, but follows you just as much as you follow him. Anytime we take you out and you don't see him, you cry.

You've learned to potty outside, the liquid version. You are still working on the second type of what we'd like you to do outside. You ate an entire Taco Bell bean burrito this afternoon and I admit I didn't stop you because I was entertained and on too many medications to do anything but point at you and ask if you wanted mild or hot sauce.

You wanted NOW. So that was that.

The doctor says I can't bathe you more than once a month and I find that punishment. I enjoy bathing you and you don't mind. All day long you "find" items, I could list them but razor blades are up there and enough to give me a heart attack. Where are you finding these things?

Go collect some more money, in one month baby girl I'm ordering your parts be taken out, we need the cash. You are a good girl, and clever, I'm glad we took the collar off your sister and came back to you. Much like your big sister..... you came to us and we inside knew it.

Love,

Mama