The New White Meat

I may go to jail over this puppy. She ripped open my right thumb, from front to back, then decided the job wasn't done and I wish I were kidding...... sliced open a one inch portion of my left hand.

Maybe she's planning to be my surgeon. Meanwhile, it makes me very angry with her because I truly have never had a biting dog, and it god damned better be a puppy thing. I am presently bleeding on the keyboard and shooting dart looks that clearly mean "don't even think of coming in here."

Bite the hand that feeds you? Kylee I will play that game. I won't let her die, but she is going to learn different rules as of NOW. Think of the mother who pauses and says "what did you just say to me?" and grabs the beating stick.

Mr. Morgan has lost leadership since she has twice bitten me, and malicously. Game over or chick isn't staying. I happen to like her, but I am not trying to bleed nightly or be given that fuck you look from her when I say she is not acting how I require the Morgan house to do. She has such a temper and gets angry on a crazy level when told no, or is corrected.

Look at that face and you think NO WAY that girl bites. Oh, she bites. My biggest concern is that she is not getting smaller, and I simply will not have an animal with anger issues.


I have had it with the biting. I know she is growing teeth but she lunges with her whole body to bite and next time she is going to be dipped in a cold ass tub of water to regain her damned senses. Won't feel so bitey when wet. I honestly know no other recourse than what I've tried. This may not help the idea that I want her to like water, but she is responding to nothing.... and I lived in a house that raised puppies, so I know the normal ways to stop the bitey behavior. Plus if I dunk her, it's a two-for so I can clean my wound while doing it.

Chewing fine, biting? No. Nazi Mom lives. I am not being unkind to her at all, and would never, just re-examining the boudaries she's been afforded, by..... not me. It's not the accidents, the puppy obstitance, it's the vicious biting. I don't bleed for nothing, and might need a stitch or two. It's difficult because Mr. Morgan lets her get away with anything except house accidents. I feel this sends her mixed messages. My brow has now raised and she better know Mary fucking Poppins is coming to straigten her shit out.

-DM

Scrub a Dub!

Kylee is not making much progress with her potty training. There were 3 happy piles of "I love you" to greet me this morning and I scowled at the bag of kibble, swearing to never feed her again if this is what happens.

She galloped about blaming Simon. I asked the Russian if it was his and he just raised an eyebrow at me in disbelief that I had the nerve to ask.

So! Kylee got a bath! I made a lot of mistakes with Delilah that I am trying not to repeat, one being her extreme fear and loathing of water. Mr. Morgan was taking a shower so I sheepishly snuck the brown dog into the stream to see if she'd melt, like Delilah always thought she would.

There was no melting.


Mr. Morgan asked why I can't take photos that don't include him undressed. All I could say was that as a photographer, it's my job to get what I can, when I can and that if he EVER managed to be less naked, I would get those photos too.

Wet dog wondering how water shoots from the ceiling.



Kylee likes to sleep on top of my head, I suppose because she knows I shower at night to avoid waking up any earlier than possible to do my hair. I woke up today looking like the model on the front of Chia Pet box from her tosses and turns on my scalp all night.

Thus far she hasn't pissed or shit on the bed, and I hope that remains a constant.

MR. "I can't wait until she is SO big."
ME "You're nuts, I want to stunt her growth."

-DM

Day 4 - Kylee Stretches her legs

Always nice to have the photos taken in my studio, where Avon boxes live and dwell with drumming fingers of embarrassment.

Kylee wakes up like a shotgun and goes down with a solid thud.

I broke up a fight dog fight tonight and may get a Vick jersey to intervene. To her credit, and I have a video to post perhaps tomorrow, Simon laying with his legs agape to a teething puppy might not be the best idea, I told him this..... but like most males, it's the most comfortable postition. So he went very snappy when she bit his peen. I'd snap too. "Hey man, I'm trying to be nice and you go for the junk?" he told her with a vicous snap that turned into a tornado of bodies that I had to WHAT THE FUCK it, until they could fix themselves into reasonable.

They later were found like this.

Mr. Morgan asked if I posed them. No, I did not.

Biting in the house will get you a label and sticker on your forehead. Welcome to the Morgan home. Lol, can click the photo to enlarge..... I picked that off a worker when Leedy was sick. I am never too shy to ask for something that catches my eye.

She can't help but lunge towards faces and bite in that puppy pounce way. She seems to be learning, somewhat, but is also very defiant. I tell her that face pouncing is not ok, and she says back "says who?" Challenge! It's not her fault for chewing on Simon but I've said in passing for 3 days... "ya know... prolly shouldn't do that....." /brow raise and letting the chips fall.

I won't let them eat each other, but both need to know their boundaries. He can't bite her, and she needs to not ride him like a horse non-stop or chew at his penis without thinking there will be no consequences.

I am coming home at lunch to check on her and caught her with a mouth full of poop. I admit, my first thought was .... no kidding? This will save me TONS of work. Second thought, get that out of her mouth. Which I did.

-DM

Day Three - Kylee Goes Shopping

Kylee had a hard day. She woke up.

Given a charge card she directed the humans to shop at once!

Of course she was a huge hit with poor Simon panting and feeling wronged that they couldn't take separate carts. Yellow after thought, just isn't her color. She is purple, or violet. People everywhere were AWWWWW and OOOOoooh, while Simon wondered when he stopped being the cutest of the court. I am a bit surprised how many people ask what she is.

I say "puppy."
"What kind?"
"Well..." points "about that kind."

I thought chocolate labs were obvious.

Who knew these were all over????

I awkwardly gazed towards my pocket full of one-ply toilet paper in good owner anticipation of what she would, and ultimately did, do. Pretty good idea. I never thought people would be so tardy that these stations needed to be set all over lest have piss and shit that isn't their responsibility. All I know is that I came prepared and have never seen such a device.

Kylee inspects her purchases.


Tired, after.... whatever strenuous things she had to do.

Not so tired and definitely busted. She doesn't wear a size 12 so I'm guessing she isn't tying her own shoes.

We have to get Kyles off the graveyard shift, and nudge her awake often lest be up all night, which has been the pattern we call "let's get another puppy... for fun!"

-DM